Life Is One
Big Circle

I like Leah a lot and the world feels like its doign everything it can to seperate us apart. i don't know why. Since ever first i saw her singing on the michrophone my homie Murch/Richard's speaker that he brought to granville. She was sitting in the bus stop across mcdonalds singning a song and I told her she soun ds like an angel :)

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Then I havent seen her for a while. Ocassionaly i would see her around the Mcdonalds area in gangville. She woould come chill sometime with us my homie Murch/Richard could he would bring his $1200 big JBL Speaker and microphone all over gngville. She would show up sometimes using his speaker and microphpone and would sing. She would impress me cuz she does have a good voice and could sing at a young age 16.

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We never really like each other in a romantic way I guess cuz I was fat from the anti-psychotic meds the hospital want me to take that I feel till now that I never should have been prescribed. 

The first time I went to the hospital was when after high-school around 2010 while i was working for a good money transfer company called HYPERwallet located in downtown on the building clocktower in G-vill.

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There i met John my customer service manerger's brother. We would smoke weed a lot in his condon where i would end up renting one of the room in his place.

He eventually kick me out atfter a few while and i end up going back to my parents house.

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There around 2010 I was under a lot of stress from my work and getting fired, trying to go nightschool to upgrade my grades and after loosing the first girl I like here in Canada from my real homie best friend.

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My parents took me to the doctor to see what was arong with me after they found out that I was starting to smoke Cannabis and that i would act wierd hiding my head inside my blanket.

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The doctor suggested that I should be sent to the hospital to see whats wrong with me after the doctor think I was getting mad and my parents would say negative things about me to the doctor like I'm not taking bath, etc. But when i got to the hospital they prescribe me meds and i din't even realize I was voluntary admittee which means that I could say wehn ever I wanted to leave the hospital. There one of the student doctor asked me If I see shadows and me being imatture told him yes and I called him some names. Then the next day he prescribed me the strongest anti-psychotic meds clazapine. After I got out I sent message to my filipino high-school friends and we me tup and chill.

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i joined a mental health culb-house and I always took the medecine for many years. I work at a produce department in a small company near my house. I met one of my old friends i met from highschool and we use to do coke and i learned to party and take molly. 

After a couple of months around late 2017 I started to stop taking my anti-psychotic meds around the time the store i worked was closing. 

I acted bizzare stuffs to the people around me thinking i can read theyre minds or that my sense were super high-tend. ACting bizzarley like walking around alll over the place recieving messges. Then i was confuse cuzsome of the stuff where spirutal. Then one night i was walking around all over then my parents were worried cuz they were alarmed fromt he bzzare actiuons I made. I kept calling my dads phone thinking that someone is out after me and my family. When i got home that night my mom and dad told me to call the ambulance thinking I was in distressed. When the ambulance came they took me to the emergency psych ward where I felt I was under delusion that my parents and I had superpowers and that we were from a different world.

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There at the hosptial i was expereinxing delusion that my family and i were aliens. At the hospital I was acting bizzare they put my in the secultion room where I thoguth they kill the people before me and at the wall I saw a big pencil drawing of a heart that says on the inside Make Love Not War. Then when i looked again it dissapeared.

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i drew flower drawings to the doctor and nurses at the emrgency ward and I told them "Life is one big circle". The phrase I learned from wanting the girl I liked the my homie took away.

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Then the next day they put me in a stretcher and in the white ambulance. Then i see it driving away from the hospital thingking that I was being kidnapped. We stopped infront of a big house. It was a cage facility. I thought that maybe I did something wrong and they were putting me at the facility cuz I killed someone and they are putting me under asleep so I wont get hurt learning my fate from the judge verdict.

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There at the facilty people were advance and crazy. They were talking with words but had whole different meaning. There i met bunch of high poower good guys 
i call - Angel, Black boy, Sikh warrior, KGB, Rico, Lotus, Archer.

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Were were all tripping there and at one point I tohught that they were trying to kill me so I took of my clothes and ran but naked in fropnt of thema fter my head told me so that they wont hurt me. i did it a couple of times and at different icnciddents sometimes  the nurse sent me to the siclusion room and would give me crazy pills that would make the room spin and my head dizzy.

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After i got out that place I learned so much and evolved. They put me back to the regular hospital after 2 months at that scaRY FACILITY.

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When i got out of the psch ward they put me back ont he anti=psychotic meds clozapine thinking that it was becuzz I stop takign them that I became crazy henIn fact and still beleive still now that it was becuze the withdrawal efects and giving psyschosis side eeffects i never had before but only getting it after abruttply stop taking the meds which I believe is true.

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I gained many pounds overweight like 230 pounds when I met HER around 2021 I think or early 2022 when she was 16 years old. I never touch her romantically or do anything wrong to her but just invite her to keep using my homies Murch's speaker and picrphone so she can sing becuase she really does had good voice and I told her liek an "Angel.

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I would bump to her once in a while oin gvill where she say to Mrch dat shes wrking in Mcdo in gvill.

I asked for her instagram and we added each others instagram. WE became friends. She was 16 and I was 32. i always respect the law.

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We never met for a while intil the end of the year 2022 early New years 2023. I lost in touch with her.

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Then, around early 2023 to mid 2023 my friend Murch had met another Good friend Mr. Happy. He would use Mruch mike singing all around G-ville. The girl I like bump and met hima nd started using his Microphone and speakr to sing also.

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Thsi was also the same time i became friends with amazing teens and kids (Great friends) in and around Gvill.

This guys were slick and sick from the law. They had good style and were not afraid of the truth. We came from different backgroudn nationality and became friends with everybody tru our ups and downs missadventures around Gvill.

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I kept looking at her IG and I contacted her to chill sometimes. We chilled around near my birthday that year. We hanged out at the treehouse park with other friends in G-ville. One thing led to another we sperated our own ways. I pursued her on Instagram askign how she was and thiking I woudl post romantic artfull Ig post.

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Fast fordward after Septemebr  2023, She and i met again in Gvill after I invite her to come use the Loud speaker and Microphone of MR. Happy.

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We decide to meet again around October. Her and 
i was suppose to meet one night at G-vill on October 7. But for some reason she stopped calling me that night not knowing that her phone breaks and that she had to use my Rhsta singer friends phone to callme that i dint pick up not knowing that it was her trying to call me to find where to meet that night while I was waiting outside near the stn hoping she would pass by and I would mee ther. I waited outsdie for 3 hours to no avail that night.

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I got mad and didnt talk to her for a while then around a couple of days bump into her near her work and foudn out that her phone was broken so she coudnt call me. I did not call her for a while. But called her October 20 after I made a couple of dance video for the whole week after the The Hamas attacked the Israel thinkining of posting a dance compilation for the whole 5 days filmed by different people in and around the rinc of Gvill.

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On that last day October 21 I went out early of the hosue without money or eating. I sat infron of the Art Gallery Rinc sitting still waiting hoping to meet 1 of the three poeple (HER, My bestfriend MK or Popping T - The first dancer guy in Gvill that inspire me to also strt dancing there) But no one came. then around after 4pm some passerby saw me lying down shaking at the Rinc. They called paramedics that came to assess me. I told them I was ok I just didnt eat or drink water the wole day. They said fine then asked me to go ont he strecher to go to the hospital just to check in. Int he ambulance they ask me my name and what happend? The guy asked me if I new where I was. I told him im in  awhite vehicle. When We got inforn of the hospital they ask for my name and i was being in a disrespectful way asking for just water. I told them I dont want to give my home nubmer cuz I dint want to cause trouble or bother my parents. They had a doctor met me and asked what had happened? I told himt hat I was filming a dance video to post online for Gaza to show my homies and distract their mind to something poositive not just about the war.

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They did not bother to dig mental health related question deeply but had told me that i was certified under the mental health act and would not allow me to go out.

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There i stayed under worst mentally and pirtually circumstances. i thought i was ina middle of Good and Bad spiritual battles being surrounded by the WAR tha twas hapennign in GAZA.

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Well i survived everything and moved up the ladder to the top of the mental health ward. There I stayed foir 3 weeks surviving pretending to be dull and dumb until  I was able to request for a mental health review pannel and won it. At the review pannel they lied about my stay what happened to me and how i got there. People there was saying that the reason  they certified me cuz I was dancing for 7 hours straight ouitside Art gallery and not eating or drinking and developed increase Rhabdomyolysis. But later on the REview pannel to see if I shoudl be realese the advocate that was helping found out that my Rhabdomyolysis even got worser the day progress and they lied that they said when I got to the Emergency room I was smelling like Cannabis which the advocate found out that I had no Cannabis in my blood even tho it stays in the body for a while and when the doctor was in question he said that the hospital does not check for Cannabis in the blood on for methampehanin and other hrd drugs.

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i won and beat the REview Pannel with the help beleif thAT HER and i would meet again outside. Bt once i got out they put me strict condition rulse that had to follow for a while Like having daily medication witness were a pharmacist woudl come to my house around 7 and witness me take the medicine. i beg to let me out that rule but they woudl let me go. And while at the hospital I also missed my work orientaion for my new work as a Mental Health Peer Support worker which i also missed some training that i had to retrain for it even tho i was ready. The mental health workers just wouldnt beleive or accept that even tho I won my reveiew poannel it was my own fault cuz I stop taking my meds agaion the main reason why they put me back.

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Thats the reason why i stopped taking it a couple of days before they found me outside the Art Gallery. I did not want to have the traces of that strong anti-phsychotic meds in my sperm. jsut incase I see HEr again and something does happen betwen Her and I. At that time around that day She was 17 and I was 33 years old. But nothing happaned and slo that they put my in the psych ward that time saying it was becuase I did not keep taking my meds. Even tho I was seeing my community pychiatriast for a while and agreed to SLOWLY Tapper down the meds from 125mg downto 75mg on our last meeting in Septmber even he knows I was fine when he saw m that time. Knowing that I should not repeat the past where I COMPLETLEY stop these strong Anti- psychotoic meds that cuase bad mental withdrawall. So I reasoned that it sohuld be tapered slowly over the course of time which was fine that I was able to complete the Peer Support Work program fine.

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The hospital even lied about the scar /mark of my right hands where they put the needle  for liquids in my body when I got admitted that had got infected which they even prescribed me meds to lower the bump and at even one point i asked them to jsut surgery open the bump and remove the infection but the doctors taht see me at the hospital toldme  to jsu tkeep takling the antiboitcs which help lower the bump. But on the day review pannel notes wrote that they said I did not know where I got the infection.

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(I have the documents and notes paper kept safe as evidence of the whole review pannel case downloaded in my computer kept as evidence)

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After the day i got i won the review pannel hearing and discharge from the mental hospital nov 11. I message her again but had no replies. 

I did the daily medication witness thing for another 3 weeks. meaning I had to stay in the house the whole time and go downstairs around 7 or 8 pm (cant remember the exact time) to take the meds that woudl make me fall aslweep after 1hour.

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Yeah that too I forgot to say that during my torture stay at the hospital they woudl give bunch of medication anytime they want and would also double my medication back from 75mg back to 150 mg.

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It was driving me depressed aswell also I did not hang out with anybody until they stop my daily medication thing on Dec 12 2023. 

i visited back Gvill more after the new years. 

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i did not conact anyone or chill.

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I did not call her.

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All I did was practise my dancing and device a plan strateggy to get her.

I came up with the plan to complete 10 things before I can meet with her back.

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The ten things included of me dancing and maing 4 big dance video i will upload to Youtube (whcich i did)

Titled:

Life is one Big Circle

Alren Cris Po buhay (my name)

DAnce 4 Gaza

and DArpie Ciem (CArpe Diem means to seek the momentt).

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Also to write One Poem story book

Which I did write down  couple of words and phrases I would learn and devolped each day and write it down my phine which i eventually finished and uploaded online

which was all due on Jun 11 ,2024 .Excatly 9 months since the Hamas fight on Oictober 7 2023 aroudn the time were were suppoose to meet that night but her accidentaly dropped her phone and was in ono way to conatc me to ask where i was to meet that night.

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Also to Call her exactly 9pm on June 11th after i conplete all those things and also to write a letter asking for help on the lawyers to help me fine a case to the Hospital Who unitentionally lie to keep me there without asling proper mental helth question int he first place.

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i did comeplete eveything and phone her 

but she didnt pick up

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i aslo found late when I saw murch that he say that she told him that she was moving to a different Island.

I didnt really hangwith him tha tmuch anymore or anyone.

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After December 2023. i kept practicing my dancing evntually lossing weight and perfecting the craft. 

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I encourage everybody to try to dance

It s agood way to stay phsyically/mentally and spirutally healthy.

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FAast forward early month of 2024.

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I promised my self to atleast join and win 1 chess competitioon tournament which I did

I won the 2024 Surrey Kerres Memorial chess tournament in sourry under the section 900 rating and won first place with a thrphy and I'm happy.

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I accept eveythign they did to me

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I asked for help from the poeple the help me with my review pannel hearring but they said its not their deppartment and i ahd to contact a lawyer instead.

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Since to this day I had delay conacting a lwayer cuz now

I'm goign crazy

I can't tell whats happening if it strue.

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sometimes lately I notice there are undercover watching me i Think whenever I come Gvill.

I even notice them at the Board Gmes meetup group event that i had invented to help New comers/visters in Vancovuer meet to play different fun board games in DT. I help build the Group from beggning setting events and even finding a decent permanent place to meet to play Board games in DT. I eneded up having 3454 members. But now i had to sell it to someone bette rwho can lead. cuz anyways they werent even respecting me anyways even tho I invnted it and found a permamnent place.

I would always get pick last or not even talk to

even tho I started the whole thing even having to pay a 6month subscription fee of $160 CAD every 6 months. but untill now the platform increased it to over $200+ CAD which i can afford anymore even working now a 4 hour shift once every week in the mental health hosptial as a peer suppoort worker.

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yes during my first hospital I was under PWD. Person with disability. The government would give me $1483 once a month on the forth or fifth week of the month.

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But before 2024 around 2022 i was spemding on Gambling. Trying to win more money at the Casino Playing Baccaract which iw as good at before,

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Cuz of it i ahd to declare bancurptcy during 2022 that was ended and discharge finished on December 25 ,2023.

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That was also some of the problem why I had no money to chill , i would bring the governemnt check to the casino trying to truiple it. i would eventually win lose go back to $25 dolalrs onyl and with skill and works in my mind would go to $1500 CAD which i would tkae pics and flaunt on ym Instagram post.

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I think is also another reason why the gov are spying me they think that Im a big time Drug dealer or a pedophile 

cuz of the way my friends been interacting with me lately.

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They woudl jsut say words without even  consideration wha the effects and i think the ppl undercover ppl aropund Gvill would here this bits and pieces

and events

that made it sound I'm a big time criminal that has never been cought,

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Well the truth is that I still live with my parent aged 34 eyars old now jus tstarting to save after getting out of banctprtcy Deceber 25 2023 from gamblign and unwise spending.

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Bu no my  Parent has given me time line to get out of the house by this December 2024.

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I will try everythign but i dont know how yet.

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My family is always negatively coplaining with sutffs

My friends i ahd to distance myself because 

they just also pretend most of the time,

saying stupid stuff to sound big

impicating me to the spies around GVill

That i'm either a big time crook

or an uderage pedhopile (which im not)

(stil a virgin poem is real)

(just becuase i hang around Gvill with younger crowd of  ppl

who lieks to cause trouble and pretend)

But I never touch anyone of them sexually or romatically. PERIOD.

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Now I think this undercover are making a mistake following me recently.

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and now Im confuse and thinking of going insi=ane.

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Cuz i know this is true.

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Now I have delussion lately that 

maybe you are in the underworld cuz u took ur life

around your graduation

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with the help of this and the star

I can only bring you back to life

out of the underworld 

if I 

call u today and show u this

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Today is the Septmber 17 2024.Tonight aroudn this time 10pm 

exactly trhe time i finish write this after calling u today 

during this only celestial evennt

The Supermoon  / Harvest Moon

I will bring 

back ur soul 

back to life 

by completing this AND CALLING U EALIER

THE FATES will bring your soul back

to BC...

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:)))

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​BYE for now..

​- 10:21pm

2024-09-17 

-signed by

Alren Cris Po Buhay